When you're munching on snacks or pizza with Indonesian friends, take a moment to glance at the plate. Often, there's always that one piece left. Then comes the gentle nudging, urging someone to grab the last slice. Even as the food cools down or gets soggy, that final piece might still be left untouched.

 

This habit is similar to the dining culture in China. There, leaving a bit of food on your plate is seen as polite, implying that finishing everything might suggest the host didn’t provide enough food. Meanwhile, in Indonesia and some other Asian countries, leaving food is often considered taboo because it’s seen as wasteful. There's even a saying among parents that uneaten food will cry. So, what makes taking that last piece of food on the table so uncomfortable for many?

 

Uneaten food will cry | Courtesy of toplestofik

 

Aside from the last piece possibly not tasting as good, one reason might be the Indonesian culture of prioritizing the needs of others. This behavior is an example of the passive communication culture common in many Asian societies. It involves feelings of reluctance or pride in being the one to finish it off, fear that someone else hasn't had their share, embarrassment at the thought of being seen as greedy, and even laziness to clean up the leftovers.

 

Do you also feel any of these?

 

If you feel bad taking one last food on the table, it's a sign that you need to learn to be more assertive. In short, assertive communication allows you to openly express what you want, feel, and think while still considering the rights and feelings of others.

 

Assertive communication is crucial for confidently expressing our feelings and needs. In this context, if you're still hungry, there's nothing wrong with being the one to finish the food. After all, the food is meant to be eaten.

 

The last gorengan | Courtesy of Kuekenbdg (Instagram)

 

The lesson on assertive communication from the last piece of food is valuable for everyday life, including professional communication at work. Being assertive means you respect both yourself and others. Passive communication can lead to negative outcomes due to its lack of transparency. Thus, assertive communication is important to express yourself without disregarding others' feelings.

 

Even though it is important, assertive communication can be challenging because it's often perceived as a potential cause of conflict. However, assertive communication can prevent long-term disputes. It allows both you and the person you're speaking with to openly and reciprocally express your thoughts, preventing the build-up of negative feelings.

 

If it still feels difficult, you can try to find out other people's needs before making a decision. For example, offer that one last piece of food to someone else first. If they refuse, try to reconfirm whether they feel uncomfortable too by offering to split the existing portion in half. If they still don't want to, then you're entirely justified in finishing off that last piece!